omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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