your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
