just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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