if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
