is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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