she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
