Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
