can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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