Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
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I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
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I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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