I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
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My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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