walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize