dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
