it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
