My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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