WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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