It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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