I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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