Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
