I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
