literally had 100 drinks last night.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Randomize
