when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
