Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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