then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
