Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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