Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize