What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
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