She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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