I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
