dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
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