um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
