hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
