i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
