I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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