why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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