It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
