you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
