I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize