So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
