So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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