your thong is hanging out like whoa
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
