Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
