I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
