belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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