she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
