Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Come see our sink grown plant.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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