there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
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Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
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