The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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