And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
