maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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