Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
