I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
