let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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