bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
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Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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