yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
