My friends, they love my intelligence
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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