do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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