Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
