the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
