i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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