im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
