what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
